Category Archives: Teenage Lawyer Cow

Teenage Lawyer Cow – Chapter 1


My name is Molly; and I’m a holstein cow.

I’m also a lawyer.

And I’m also a teenager in middle school. I’m so excited. Here’s my story.

After my first 8 years on Farmer Miller’s farm, I knew there had to be more to life than being a milking cow. So, I went to law school!

Three years later, I graduated – supper cow latte! – from the University of Virginia, School of Law, in Charlottesville, Virginia. Then, I took and passed the bar exam on my first try.

But when I began taking on – and winning – real law cases; some other lawyers found a loop hole in my education. Like in baseball, they said, when you make it to third base, but you’ve skipped second base, you have to go back and touch second base or you’re out, so,…. it was argued, that I had to go back to middle school so I could qualify for high school, so I could qualify for college, so I could qualify for law school. (boys, and their baseball analogies!!!)

Long story short, I’m now in Mr. Thomas’ 8th grade homeroom, I take all the fun classes like pre-calculus and pre-physics, and I’m loving it — except for the boys who can be so weird — and so basebally.

Oh, also, I have new parents. Farmer and Mrs. Miller adopted me!

Yeah!! I love it!!

Tell you more later.

Yours mooly,


Teenage Lawyer Cow