Trumpilton!

Trumpilton! a Day One of Parody based on Hamilton! (with Additional Lyrics by Miller Susen)

Kanye: (sung to “Alexander Hamilton”)

How does an bastard, mop-top, son of a Scot and German
Without much book learning
A birther and a blowhard whose voice was never hesitant
Stay in New York City — be forty-fith president?

Hillary Clinton:

This million-buck rich kid was no self starter
He didn’t work harder, he wasn’t much smarter
He bragged out one side, and lied out the other
Had five rich kids from three different mothers

Kanye:

And everyday immigrants worked for him, thanklessly
While he went on – six times! – to claim bankruptcy
Inside he was yellow – and outside he was orange
He was scheming and screaming and nothing rhymes with orange

Hillary:

His campaign came, and fake news reigned
Hillary saw her hopes slip, slippin’ down the drain
This woman in a pantsuit who challenged his game
Put more hatred in his message – fannin’ up the flames!

Kanye:

Then the word got around, they said, this dude is insane, man!
Let’s turn out and elect him so he can be our main man
Don’t need no education, you can vote just the same, and
The world’s gonna feel our pain. Feel my pain, man!

(right into)

Hillary:
Ladies and Gentleman!

Kanye, Hillary, and audience:
Here comes the general
Rise up! (What?)
Here comes the general
Rise up! (What?)
Here comes the general
Rise up!
Here comes the general

And his right hand man!

(Trump comes on stage with Ivanka.)

Trump: (sung to “You’ll Be Back”)
You say
the price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to pay
(wrong!)
You cry
and you stare at my hair as you watch your healthcare go bye-bye
Why so sad?
I totally won by a landslide on election day
And now you’re all mad
Because I’ll build a wall and make Mexico pay?

(I’ll take…) America Back
Soon you’ll see
I’ll take it back to 1953
(I’ll take…) America Back
Time will tell
‘Course if you’re brown or gay it’ll be a living hell

Oceans rise – while I tweet jokes
Cuz global warming’s just a Chinese hoax

And when push comes to shove
I will drain the swamp.. into my cabinet… to remind you of my love

Don, don, don, don, don
Don, don, don, don, donald j. trump
Donald Trump is president. (repeat)

You think I’m not smart. Well, I don’t pay no taxes.
You say I won the election due to Russian hacks-es
And no don’t change the subject
Cause Trump’s the only subject
No longer president elect
I’m the world’s best wonderful president
For ever
Fantastic
Terrific
And Hugely
And Bigly, forever, so bigly….

Make America Great!
Like before
Bomb-the-shit-outta-em like it’s ’44
Make America Great!
Degree by degree
Welcome to Trump University

It’s just four years, so don’t go mad
And don’t throw away this chance I have
Cause when push comes to shove
I will grab you by the pussy… to remind you of my love

Everyone (with dancing):

Don, don, don, don, don
Don, don, don, don, donald j. trump
Donald Trump is president. (repeat)

When you create an overnight theater festival in 24 hours, the day after the inauguration, you may end up with an 8th, special bonus, presentation. With apologies and respect to Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jonathan Groff, 24/7, last night, presented the one and only performance of TRUMPILTON!

Created as part of 24/7, presented by Whole Theatre: http://wholetheatre.org
Performed, Jan 21, 2017 — with only one rehearsal — in the Gibson Theatre of Live Arts: http://livearts.org

  • Kanye — Ike Anderson
  • Hillary — Miller Susen
  • Trump — Ray Nedzel
  • Ivanka — Lindsay Goodrich

 

 

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