Hashtag Jesus

Three people, business casual, at an oversized conference-room table waiting for a meeting to begin, ALLEN, BABS, and CHUCK.

(note: # is spoken each time as “hashtag”)

Allen: When’s this meeting going to start? #ICantWait4Ever

Babs: Me neither #courseItsGoingToBeBoring #SoWhoCaresIfTheyShowUp

Allen: I should never except a reoccurring meeting #NotUlessTheresFood

Babs: I know I’m hungry #IHearTheresCakeInTheBreakRoom

Allen: #Awesome #BestDayEver

Babs: #TotallyGonnaRockTheCakeAfterThisMeeting

Chuck: Hold on, are you two going to talk in hashtags all meeting?

Babs: #Yep

Allen: #DudeRelax

Chuck: #Whatever

(pause)

Chuck: It’s just that people use the hashtag too… superlatively.

Allen: #MostLikelyToSucceed

Babs: #ClassClown

Chuck: I mean, like, someone will post something like, “there’s cake in the break room” #Grateful

Allen: #BestDayEver

Babs: #Blessed

Allen: #Jesus

Chuck: Ah, you better watch what you’re hashtaging.

Allen: Oh, my bad #TakenOutOfContext #IsThereRealyCakeInTheBreakRoom

Babs: #IHopeSo #JesusLetThereBeCakeInTheBreakRoom

Chuck: Guys you cannot… #Jesus in a place of employment.

Allen: Yeah, I can #WhyTheFNot

Chuck: It’s like… #proselytizing

Babs: OMG #OMG #ForThoseOfYouWhoDontGetItOhMyGod

Allen: #ThereIsNoGodButAllah

Babs: #Jihad

Allen: #Jesus

Chuck has been checking his email on his phone.

Chuck: Ah… Teenagers… This meeting has been cancelled.

Allen and Babs highfive

Allen: #KnewIt

Babs: #LetsGoGetSomeCakeInTheBreakRoom

Allen: Oh, yeah! #ImGonnaPutAPieceOfThatCakeUPMYBUTT

This has become the first thing truly offensive to all three. Pause. Then,

Chuck AND Babs: #Jesus!

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *