Three people, business casual, at an oversized conference-room table waiting for a meeting to begin, ALLEN, BABS, and CHUCK.
(note: # is spoken each time as “hashtag”)
Allen: When’s this meeting going to start? #ICantWait4Ever
Babs: Me neither #courseItsGoingToBeBoring #SoWhoCaresIfTheyShowUp
Allen: I should never except a reoccurring meeting #NotUlessTheresFood
Babs: I know I’m hungry #IHearTheresCakeInTheBreakRoom
Allen: #Awesome #BestDayEver
Babs: #TotallyGonnaRockTheCakeAfterThisMeeting
Chuck: Hold on, are you two going to talk in hashtags all meeting?
Babs: #Yep
Allen: #DudeRelax
Chuck: #Whatever
(pause)
Chuck: It’s just that people use the hashtag too… superlatively.
Allen: #MostLikelyToSucceed
Babs: #ClassClown
Chuck: I mean, like, someone will post something like, “there’s cake in the break room” #Grateful
Allen: #BestDayEver
Babs: #Blessed
Allen: #Jesus
Chuck: Ah, you better watch what you’re hashtaging.
Allen: Oh, my bad #TakenOutOfContext #IsThereRealyCakeInTheBreakRoom
Babs: #IHopeSo #JesusLetThereBeCakeInTheBreakRoom
Chuck: Guys you cannot… #Jesus in a place of employment.
Allen: Yeah, I can #WhyTheFNot
Chuck: It’s like… #proselytizing
Babs: OMG #OMG #ForThoseOfYouWhoDontGetItOhMyGod
Allen: #ThereIsNoGodButAllah
Babs: #Jihad
Allen: #Jesus
Chuck has been checking his email on his phone.
Chuck: Ah… Teenagers… This meeting has been cancelled.
Allen and Babs highfive
Allen: #KnewIt
Babs: #LetsGoGetSomeCakeInTheBreakRoom
Allen: Oh, yeah! #ImGonnaPutAPieceOfThatCakeUPMYBUTT
This has become the first thing truly offensive to all three. Pause. Then,
Chuck AND Babs: #Jesus!